13 March 2014

The Fear.

Yes, I just stole a title from a Lily Allen song. Nope, I don't care.

I have been planning to attend Bonnie Gordon College for well over a year now. I have saved every spare dollar, worked 5 days a week in my day job, on top of nearly 7 days a week on cakes most of the time, and said goodbye to my social life so that this could be achieved. I wanted it more than anything. I've been looking forward to this for so long, I was feeling nothing but excitement.

Then someone said to me, "You're going on your own? Wow... that's brave!'.

Brave? Really? This thought never occurred to me. I brushed it aside.

Then someone said to me, "I wouldn't be able to do what you're doing. It's way too scary.'

Scary? What? I just didn't understand.

Maybe it's a generational thing. If I looked up people I went to high school with I'm sure I'd find a number of them are now living overseas. Over twelve months ago my best friend packed a suitcase and moved 8000 miles away for his career. For me, this seems normal.

However, now that these thoughts have been put in my head I've been dwelling on it. I'm not sure if scared is the right word to describe how I'm feeling. There's definitely something there, maybe a feeling somewhere between unsure and concerned.

I'm not letting this unknown feeling ruin my excitement, but there is still the fact that I'll be alone. For four months. In a new country. Alone. So very alone.

That's a lot of flying!


YIKES!

There's one thing I must remember though. My mum once said something to me about trying new things if you want new results. I can't remember her exact words but I think Thomas Jefferson worded it quite well when he said If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done.”. At least, I think it was Thomas Jefferson. I'm really bad at remembering who says things. Heck, it could be a line from The Simpsons for all I know!

Either way, no matter who said it, I like to live with this thought in mind. So far it has treated me very well, and has been entirely accurate. Trying new things, and living outside your comfort zone is the only way to change and grow as a person. 

No matter how unsure I am, this trip will be worth it. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity that I have worked so hard for and I will not allow the uncertainty to ruin it for me.

So next time time someone says to me 'You're so brave!' or 'How scary!', instead of ignoring it I will say 'Yes! You're right! I am brave, and it is scary - but it will be worth it!' because like any other compliment you receive, it should not be brushed aside.

What do you think? Could you leave your entire life behind for half a year and journey 10,000 km's away on your own?

(Answer: Yes! You could!)



4 comments :

  1. I think most people stick with what is comfortable. That's why they stick around the town they grew up in and end up marrying someone from high school. I would rather go against all of that and dream big! You are doing what you love and that's all that matters. It will be different, but isn't that what you want? Plus then you can really focus on your career. I think you'll fit in and make friends fast (you seem very nice)! I wish you all the best!

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    1. Yes! Exactly Lauren - dreaming big is the only way to go!

      Thank you so much! ^_^

      xx

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  2. I think you're awesomely brave ! But that comes from someone who went off to live in Belgium at age 17, then headed to Paris on a one-way ticket at 24 with no friends, no job, no place to live and who ended up staying nearly 6 years before taking a giant leap of faith to move to Canada! Dream big is definitely the way to go and I can't wait to meet you here in Toronto soon! XO

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    1. Wowwwww and that's why you're such an inspiration Mardi! Incredible! ^_^

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